Getting to the Blarney Stone is a harrowing journey. Kissing the Blarney Stone is even more difficult.

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BLARNEY, Ireland — Reaching the Blarney Stone is not easy. Kissing the Blarney Stone is even more difficult.

How did I miss that all these years?

I’ve heard of the Blarney Stone all my life. Until Sunday, I never knew it was in a castle and never knew the stone was at the top of said castle.

But I know it now.

Our traveling party of six journeyed via train from Galway on the west coast to the lovely County Cork, home of Blarney, about five miles northwest of Cork city, and we spent the afternoon at Blarney Castle.

I always pictured the Blarney Stone in some kind of coastal setting, for reasons I don’t know. I knew people from all over the world came to kiss the stone, for silly reasons.

But kissing the Blarney Stone is quite the feat. 

To reach the stone, you must climb the steep, spiral staircases of Barney Castle, hewn through the rock walls centuries ago. The journey gives you a peek into 15th century living. Hint: it was not plush. Even the wealthy in the castle lived hard lives, judging by the rooms in the castle. Small, dank, dark. Security was foremost in the feudal lords’ minds, and castles provided the best defense against invading marauders.

The Blarney Stone is embedded at the top tower of the castle. A small walkway circles the top of the tower, with the middle of the tower totally open, many stories below.

You walk around the top of the tower to reach the stone, where an attendant helps you lie down on your back and holds you, almost water-baptism style, while you lean back, head dipped, into the low opening that could send you to your death, if not for the parapet being fitted with protective crossbars.

But still, the ritual has been known to cause attacks of acrophobia.

We heard that the Irish were absolutely splendid hosts for tourists, and that’s certainly been the truth. Not everything is perfect, of course. But Ireland is a wonderful place to visit. - by Berry Tramel https://t.co/tr7tsFzByi #SelloutCrowd

— Sellout Crowd (@selloutcrowd_) May 5, 2024

Me personally? I don’t have a fear of heights. I have a fear of falling. I handled the spiral staircase rather well, since the windows you pass are quite small and the thick walls on each side of the steps are rather tight. Falling down something doesn’t bother me. The potential of falling off or out of something locks me up.

So inching around the top of the tower, on a walkway maybe three feet wide, with an iron railing on one side, protecting me from falling into the castle interior, and the ancient castle stones protecting me from falling out of the fortress, hundreds of feet below, is not my idea of a good time.

I made it, though, and was able to take photos of Trish the Dish as she kissed the stone. Then I carefully navigated the rest of the tower walkway to find the exit staircase that took me to safety and emotional health.

Irish legend allows that kissing the stone provides the gift of gab — great eloquence, or the ability to flatter. Over the centuries, the definition of “blarney” has come to mean inflated flattery. I don’t know about that; I don’t really use the word.

The stories about the Blarney Stone are abundant and probably all false, be it as the stone that Old Testament patriarch Jacob laid his head on to dream about the ladder, brought back from the Holy Land by Irish crusaders, or a special stone anointed by a witch after she was saved from drowning by a member of the McCarthy family, which built the castle.

No matter what, the stone of eloquence, as it originally was called, was placed atop that tower in 1446, and people from every continent still come to kiss it.

The Blarney Castle & Gardens entry fee is $22, though seniors get a $5 discount. The grounds include a variety of gardens and walkways.

But the castle is the star.

The Jefferys family purchased the castle in the early 1700s and later built a big house on the ground, realizing the castle was not all that comfortable. An 1874 fire eventually destroyed that house, but its replacement, the Blarney House, remains on the grounds and can be toured. 

This is Ireland, so the history of the place is stout. In the mid-1800, the Jefferys and Colthurst families were united by marriage, and the Colthurt family still occupies the land.

The gardens are a nice counter to the dreariness of the castle. 

The Blarney Stone and Blarney Castle sound like they would come from a rural setting, but no. We’re staying at the Blarney Woolen Mills Hotel, which is adjacent to the Blarney Woolen Mills mother store, which also attracts busloads of tourists daily. Blarney Woolen Mills is a world-renowned producer of Irish sweaters and tweed.

Blarney Woolen Mills is less than a quarter mile from the castle. So the convenience is fantastic.

We arrived at our hotel about 1 p.m., grabbed a quick sandwich at the jam-packed Woolen Mills restaurant, and for dinner walked around the corner to a Chinese joint.

Yes, Chinese food in Ireland. I’ve loved my Irish food, but everyone needs a break, so we had an excellent Chinese meal at the Lantern House.

We’ll hit the Blarney Woolen Mills store later in the week, and we’ll tour County Cork and the Ring of Kerry. But the slow trek up the stairs of Blarney Castle — about an hour long, counting the wait to even enter the castle — will leave a lasting impact on the rest of my days. The only stone I might kiss will be the surface on the ground if I ever climb a tower like that again.

The Blarney Castle casts an ominous presence over Ireland’s County Cork. (Berry Tramel/Sellout Crowd)